


Beans in Revolt

by fingerprintbruises



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drabble, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-11
Updated: 2014-01-11
Packaged: 2018-01-08 07:30:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1129973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fingerprintbruises/pseuds/fingerprintbruises
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur vowed to never eat beans again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beans in Revolt

**Author's Note:**

> **Warnings:** brief mention of rimming if that squicks you
> 
> Came about from [me pointing out](http://bradleyjizzames.tumblr.com/post/68350604965) that there are no fics with the boys farting. This isn't as cracky as it sounds. I promise.

Arthur vowed to never eat beans again.  
  
He didn’t even think of the consequences when ate them for lunch that day. Merlin had gone out for lunch with Will, someone Arthur wasn’t overly fond of, and Arthur was left to fend for himself. He scraped together some beans that have been sitting in his cupboard for months and toast and scarfed that down with some water.  
  
Merlin had come back home two hours later, nattering on about stories that Will had told him, and Arthur was only half listening because he was still focused upon the sounds of Merlin putting his set of keys in the lock. It gave him a thrill every time he heard it. Merlin had officially moved in with Arthur two weeks ago and Arthur wasn’t used to Merlin being in his flat without letting him in first.  
  
After Merlin had finished catching Arthur up on stories he didn’t really care about and changed into sweats, he proposed watching _Thor_ before they went out to see the sequel that night. They sat down on the couch, pressed together from knee to hip with Arthur’s arm draped over Merlin’s shoulders.  
  
This was when Arthur made his vow.  
  
He was comfortable and warm, feeling like he could fall asleep at any moment with Merlin leaning against him, and with being so comfortable, Arthur didn’t even think twice before farting.  
  
Loudly.  
  
Of course it happened during a quiet part of the movie too.  
  
He felt Merlin stiffen against him and his cheeks heated in embarrassment.  
  
Arthur didn’t fart a lot in front of people. Uther glared at him and reminded him of his manners and Morgana screwed up her nose (which honestly made him do it more in front of her) whenever he let one rip, but it was mainly Uther’s drilling that made him wary about doing it in front of others, because if your own family scolded you on a natural bodily function who _could_ you do it around? His friends talked about farts like it was a sport, but rarely had any one of them farted around each other. Arthur had done it once in front of his girlfriend in uni, but she had ranted on about how rude it was after slapping him in the arm multiple times. That was the last time he farted around a partner.  
  
He pursed his lips and waited for the scolding to begin as Merlin turned to look at him. Instead, he became mortified when he realized that Merlin was smiling and starting to laugh at him.  
  
“Your face,” Merlin managed to finally gasp out.  
  
Arthur was sure his cheeks were as red as his shirt. “Shut up, Merlin.”  
  
“I’ve never seen you this embarrassed before,” Merlin said with glee.  
  
“I’m not embarrassed.”  
  
Merlin calmed down to the point where he was only smiling and not on the verge of busting out into another fit of laughter. “Yes, you are. Your mouth does that fish thing.”  
  
“No it doesn’t,” Arthur protested and pinched Merlin in the side. Merlin gasped and grabbed Arthur’s hand before it could pinch elsewhere.  
  
With his free hand, Merlin patted Arthur on the stomach. “It’s okay, farting is perfectly natural. It was only a matter of time you did it around me while you were conscious.”  
  
Arthur stared at Merlin for a moment before crying, “While I’m conscious?!”  
  
Merlin laughed while nodding and said, “You’re like train in your sleep. And I don’t mean your snoring.”  
  
Arthur was stunned silent, his mouth hanging open slightly and staring at Merlin with disbelief.  
  
Slowly, Merlin reached over, pressed his fingers to Arthur’s chin, and closed his mouth for him. “Fish thing,” he whispered.  
  
He gave Arthur a fond look, a look that Arthur’s seen him give puppies and made Arthur want to protest that he _wasn’t being cute thankyouverymuch_ , before leaning in and pressing their lips together for a moment.  
  
Merlin pulled back and leaned his shoulder against the couch. “I don’t know what you’re so embarrassed about, I fart around you all the time.”  
  
Arthur frowned, asking, “Do you?”  
  
“Yeah, loads of times.” Arthur couldn’t remember any of those times, but he wasn't going to call him out, there was no reason to lie about something like that.  
  
“Oh,” Arthur said ineloquently in response, a little thrown off and uncertain as to where they went from here. It was only farting for christ’s sakes.  
  
Merlin seemed notice Arthur’s inner turmoil because he was rolling his eyes and saying, “God, Arthur, don’t make this any harder than it is. If you have to fart, fart. It’s not going to disgust me. I’ve had my tongue up your arse, I highly doubt some gas coming out of it is going to ruin anything. Okay?”  
  
Arthur’s mind had stalled a bit it at _my tongue up your arse_ , but he got what Merlin was saying, so he nodded slowly and agreed, “Okay.”  
  
“Good,” Merlin replied and grinned.  
  
Arthur smiled back awkwardly.  
  
Merlin settled into Arthur’s side again, manhandling Arthur’s arm back over his shoulders. He was quiet for a moment before he said, “I hope this means you won’t be as gassy when you're asleep.”  
  
“Oi!” Arthur objected and brought Merlin into a headlock. Merlin squirmed and bucked, laughing all the while. “I’ll show you gassy, _Mer_ lin. I ate beans today.”


End file.
